The thief left it behind: the moon at my window - Ryokan

Showing posts with label dream. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dream. Show all posts

Sunday, August 31, 2008

A dream

Umbilicalcord

A precious being, 'X', told me a dream he had the other night.

A friend was committing suicide.
He poured petrol over himself and set himself ablaze.
It was a shocking and horrifying experience.
X ran inside to call people and tell them what was happening.
When he returned
...he saw Buddha seated where his friend had been
At that moment he woke.

I found this dream beautiful and meaningful
It spoke to me of the masks of Buddha.



Everyone is a masked Buddha (universal truth)

Life, the great Guru
brings us many many sacred lessons
- they all take the form of the Masked Buddha

We went on to speak about the difficulties life presents.
The great suffering one experiences.
Death of beloveds, financial hardship, loss, loss, loss...

I thought of the shock 'X' experienced in the dream
- seeing his friend in flames
then the awed amazement to find
Buddha sitting amongst the ashes

I thought of that feeling in our hearts and bodies
at the moment of trauma
loss or extreme hardship
- that sharp pain
that sense of 'AAAAH!'
- THE CRYING OUT WE DO INWARDLY AND SOMETIMES OUTWARDLY TOO.

What is the cause of the immense pain?
Is it the holding on to the mask
which will shift in time
if we allow it
to reveal
the Buddha

Pain is...
holding onto the mask



We went on to speak of the ultimate loss we will all experience
- the loss of our own lives.

I thought of the so obvious yet surprising statement
i heard on the radio the other day:
In 90 years
only a handful of all people living today
will still be alive.

Life is our guru
bearing sacred lessons
preparing us for the final letting go

Each painful experience we have
is an opportunity
to prepare for the final letting go

is an opportunity
to practice acceptance
and going with the flow

This morning I was reflecting on X's dream again/still
and I remembered a while back when I became aware
of the umbilical cord
which holds 'us' to this body.
A sense of awareness that there is an 'etheric body' (for want of another term)
connected to this physical body
And I could feel the cord somewhere above the physical navel area,
perhaps in the area of the solar plexus chakra.

- the sense of this cord is an echo or imprint of that 'aaah' we experience
in those very tough moments,
I wandered if this umbilical cord is also the cord
between ego and higher awareness

The physical body, it's emotions, survival instincts
bound up with the ego's sense of mortality, limitations, need to be in control. etc
whereas our higher awareness which we develop/commune with when we are meditating
is boundless, non dual, etc...

I wondered if enlightenment is the cutting of this umbilical cord
in the same way a baby's is cut
to be freed to live independent of the womb
which brought it to earthly existence

This blog has been quite hard to write
in the sense to trying to describe feelings coherently

it always seems to come back to

Acceptance and

Letting Go

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Creative Journal Pages and other meanderings



When I was in my early 20s I had a dream. I had never seen this image before - in fact in my dream it was a female image - she also had more arms than the images I've seen subsequently. Later I found out it was Shiva.
Dreams are interesting - an inner eye...

who knows what this dream meant - or where it originated - or why. But whenever I see this image - I remember the dream.
The dancer who was dancing - music and inspiration

This deity was brought up again recently - this time by a Didi (yogi nun), who also said my appearance reminded her of Shiva - my long wavy hair, I think.

I did a bit of reading; Shiva is destroyer and restorer - and more.

When I was studying at art school, my teacher, Bill Ainslie, taught us about Dionysus who was also a complex god and my sense is they may be similar...

Does Shiva have a role in Buddhism, I wonder and find myself answering - whatever emerges in my life has a role....
I just don't always understand it intellectually.

What is Shiva or Dionysus to me? Same answer...

mm... I've never been able to fit into a neat box
and my sense is neither Shiva nor Dionysus (nor you) do either
and maybe this is exactly what they're about...
this creative thing which only births through
order and chaos


Life is this death and birth thing:
this thing of:

everything as we know it
changes

everything is like the breath;
inhaling and exhaling

...comings and goings...




Other creative unfoldings...
A friend's blog inspired me to write a poem:

DREAM


Were there flowers before longing created them?
or is it the sigh of the bees
that awakens this field before my eyes…

or the murmur…
- is it the murmur of the breeze
caressing the flowers

that dreams me into being?

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