Ego

My sense of 'I' in relation to the universe has been shifting - I guess it shifts constantly. I had been thinking the universe is something kind of unchanging\complete and I - a vessel tapping from this existing wholeness. Now I sense nothing is static and all is ever changing perception.. and the more I write, the more gobbly gook unravels…

I sense the mysteries which my rational mind will never grasp because it is not designed to.

I read this quote below recently and it dawns on me that 'the ego' is an error of perception. I quite like this because I thought I had to learn how to 'dodge' the ego - this attitude felt sort of 'Calvinistic' and seemed like a lot of hard work, like doing acrobatics to outwit myself - now I have the sense I need to unlearn a mistaken way of thinking.

There seem to two kinds of searchers: those who seek to make their ego something other than it is, ie, holy, happy, unselfish (as though you could make a fish unfish), and those who understand that all such attempts are just gesticulation and play-acting, that there is only one thing that can be done, which is to disidentify themselves with the ego, by realizing its unreality, and by becoming aware of their eternal identity with pure being.
- Fingers Pointing Toward the Moon by Wei Wu Wei