The thief left it behind: the moon at my window - Ryokan

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Happy Birthday Genie love


Good morning on Giens b-day! All of 48 years old, he’s in bed with a hot cuppa litchi and lemon with a dash of green tea, homemade by his wife and room temperature – due to its being a winter morning - fruit salad. The fruit salad inspired by his dream where oranges featured strongly - the symbolism made me wonder if his body wished for those vitamins. He’s writing a book born today, about a love story - birthed on the internet – LOL guess who! This book seeded by our many discussions and the so many questions and mails we receive from others looking for love and too often not finding it. We so often ponder why so few seem to find love and remain seekers of it, or give up... so that’s the beginnings. Watch this space! Next to him lies the Nepalese meditation cushion and maroon Mala bag decorated with symbols I gave him as a birthday gift. Also the beautiful book by the Dalai Lama lent to him by a friend from our Sangha... the stage is set - the day is beginning...



my daughter, Natalie, emailed Gien
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear Gien!
Happy birthday to you!

Hip hip hooooooraaaaaaaayyyyyy! Hip hip

Wishing you a wonderful birthday and amazing year!

You are a wonderful addition to the family, thank you for making my
mom so happy.

Love Nats :)


Gien replied
Hi Nats,

I love your mum a great deal
and she loves me in the same way
Our bliss is very natural and spontaneous

In Buddhism there is the idea of compassion or "Bodhicitta"
this means love for all beings
I think this is profoundly important in a relationship
and the actual "secret" to true happiness

For a genuine relationship to flow effortless and free
we must love both the other person AND ourselves in the relationship

We know that the joy we bring our partner
is returned to us many times over
In bringing joy to another
that is the only genuine way that we ourselves can receive the others joy

If we were to take a selfish view instead
and try to GET joy for ourselves from the other
by controlling the other and dictating conditions to the other
that is when it backfires

What we create instead
is an environment for a desire and attachment filled relationship
where the conditions no longer exist for love to flow freely

When we perceive that something is wanted from us
we feel used and objectified
and that closes down our natural propensity to give
How does it feel when someone comes to us
and demands "I want this", "Give me that"?
It doesn't feel right, does it?
There is no sense of gratitude
no expression of appreciation of the other

For this reason
we have the paradox
that the selfish attitude when manifest in relationships
leads to the very failure of the relationship
while the limitless giving to our partner
is what creates the condition
for our partner's limitless giving to us

Many Blessings to you and Jason


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Catching up and sharing

I haven't posted much personal news lately so today I've decided to take a little time writing to my friends. Today is a public holiday here in South Africa, Youth Day. It feels peaceful - but I will never forget the dreadful history it arises from. I will also always remember how South Africa transitioned from being one of the worlds most oppressed backward countries to being potentially among the most progressive. Now I hope to see SA rise to it's potential.

My son Neville is starting high school next year. He won a scholarship and we are very proud of him! Can you believe how time flies! He was a little cherub with dimples and wings breaking through just the other day. Now his a gangling ‘growly boy’, into hip hop and taller than his mom.

We are going to need to move at the end of this year in order to be nearer his new school and are having to start finding a new home. I can see the circumstances which have led to this but I am not totally convinced I should be living in a landlocked city for most of my adult life...

Speaking of time flying, Gien and I are celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary in about 2 weeks - where did the year go! It feels we’ve known one another all our lives and we're still to have our first fight... lol which I just can't imagine us doing!

We’re both happily busy with many varying projects. Gien is trying to set up business\es based on his many awesome ideas and vision while he still works for his previous employer in Canada. He never ceases sprouting brilliant ideas and he implements them – I am a firm admirer!

I really feel we are not in one of those dependent relationships – but I do do more because he is in my life than I would if he were not. I am still filling my days with a range of activities such as teaching yoga, art, writing workshops, running a self help course, meditation sessions, counselling at LifeLine, building websites, connecting on various networks, etc. We’re both also engaged with projects at the Lam Rim Buddhist Centre and absorbed by our spiritual journey.

The other thing on my mind right now, is I’m wanting to publish a self help book I wrote, Walking the Labyrinth, which I have actually designed already, also being a graphic designer specialising in book design. I already run workshops based on the book and created a website for them. I’m asking everyone if they know how I can go about getting it published without spending the rest of my life sending it to publishers... Having experience in publishing I could take the self publishing option – but this wouldn’t get the book out as far and wide as I’d like.

Sending love to all my friends


Tuesday, June 9, 2009


My sense of 'I' in relation to the universe has been shifting - I guess it shifts constantly. I had been thinking the universe is something kind of unchanging\complete and I - a vessel tapping from this existing wholeness. Now I sense nothing is static and all is ever changing perception.. and the more I write, the more gobbly gook unravels…

I sense the mysteries which my rational mind will never grasp because it is not designed to.

I read this quote below recently and it dawns on me that 'the ego' is an error of perception. I quite like this because I thought I had to learn how to 'dodge' the ego - this attitude felt sort of 'Calvinistic' and seemed like a lot of hard work, like doing acrobatics to outwit myself - now I have the sense I need to unlearn a mistaken way of thinking.

There seem to two kinds of searchers: those who seek to make their ego something other than it is, ie, holy, happy, unselfish (as though you could make a fish unfish), and those who understand that all such attempts are just gesticulation and play-acting, that there is only one thing that can be done, which is to disidentify themselves with the ego, by realizing its unreality, and by becoming aware of their eternal identity with pure being.
- Fingers Pointing Toward the Moon by Wei Wu Wei